Monkeys Without Flamethrowers

Gangsta Dolphins


Reports from several areas along the coast of California have indicated a sharp increase in dolphin related crimes. The suspected dolphins have been spotted gathering in large numbers and “wearing different species of kelp” to identify there pods affiliation. The troubling news came once several different pods were seen wearing the same species of kelp, indicating that there social structure has change. Normally dolphins being the social creatures they are, will gather in pods/schools. Even combining with other pods to form a super pod when in an area that food is abundant. But concern has been raised that after joining a super pod the smaller dolphin pods retains it loyalty to the larger super pod. Such behavior has been confirmed by observing separate pods joining together to form a super pod when necessary. With all members wearing the same species of kelp. Confirming there previous affiliation.

The first sighting of these super pods reforming and maintaining there previous affiliations was spotted observing normal dolphin behavior. All of the dolphins wearing the same kelp raised little questions. Until the attacks on small watercraft began. Pods wearing the same kelp were also seen displaying territorial behavior, laying claim areas off the coast of California. Any watercraft that appeared to be a viable target and was found in the dolphins territory was attacked. Several small watercraft were capsized and pillaged for its supplies. including food, weapons and alcohol. The dolphin attacks would become especially violent when alcohol was discovered.


The members of the different supper pods also defended against other supper pods encroaching on there claimed territory. Dolphin on dolphin violence has also increased exponentially in just a short amount of time. Reports of  speargun related dolphin death have quadrupled since the beginning of 2016. Deceased dolphins washing up on shore with there identifying kelp still attached to there body has become a familiar sight on local beaches.

Increase in dolphin violence has already affected local economies, raising concern about the viability of the fishing and oil operations off the coast of California. Raids on fishing boats are becoming more and more common as the rival pods increase in size and territory. Pods lingering dangerously close to oil platforms has also caused a state increase of security at many off shore drilling sites. Concern that the different dolphin pods are teaming up with whales to take down larger vessels is a potential threat to vital shipping lanes, potential becoming a threat to our national economy.


Rising concern from the general public that pod affiliated dolphins are infiltrating public facilitates on land has many worried. Attacks on the general pubic on land have also been on the rise. Asking the question, are the pods just expanding there territory or is there a larger plan being carried out? All we really know for sure is that the dolphins are dangerous and that they are becoming organized.

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