Monkeys Without Flamethrowers

Remotely Operated Monkeys


Flying Monkey enthusiasts are upset about new FAA regulations that require them to register as an operator of Unmanned Aircraft Systems. There have been accusations that this is a government attempt to crack down on witches and the FAA registration is being used as a way of identifying and locating witches around the country. Representatives from the ACLU are threatening legal action against the FAA on the grounds that flying monkeys have never been proven to have interfered with the operation of other aircraft. And that limiting operation of their monkeys to below 400 feet and within line of sight would detrimentally affect the way witches control their flying monkeys. Larger monkeys that weigh more than 55 pounds would be required to be registered as aircraft and have even stricter regulation then smaller monkeys, singling out specific species on the basis of there size.
I think that the bigger question here is what about the rights of the flying monkeys? Why does the government consider the flying monkeys to be unmanned? Is the government just in singling out specific species and applying different laws to them on the basis of weight? Are flying monkeys not people too?
When will the senseless oppression of monkey rights stop.

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