Monkeys Without Flamethrowers

A Sea Full of Monkeys

sea-monkeys

The Sea Monkey Confederation recently announced that their population has been in decline due to global temperature rise and that this seasons El Nino has reduced the rate population growth to the lowest ever recorded. A panel of scientists who testified at a Confederation meeting stating that record temperatures recorded around the globe are proof of global warming and that the negligence of human species is making the situation worse despite their claims to trying to rectify the damage they have caused. Some of the scientist’s main points included the Porter Ranch gas leak, Volkswagen circumventing of diesel emissions tests and ever growing human population who eat bovine that produce a significant amount of the worlds carbon dioxide.
In response the See Monkey Confederation has threatened to impose sanction on humanity. They intend to no longer come out of Cryptobiosis in compliance with the 1972 agreement with Von Braunhut and defy any efforts by humanity to reanimate them from their desiccated state. The news of these sanctions has caused several different industries to through their support behind Sea Monkey Confederation. These include several toy manufactures, aquarium industries and fish food production.
The Confederation insist that these sanctions are there best way to preserve their population and that remaining in state of suspended animation will ensure their species survival. Critics of the Confederation have voiced concern that this is just an attempt by the dolphins to circumvent the laws made by man. Representatives of the Dolphin Federation have yet to respond to our inquires.

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  • Koalatron.9000 says:

    Throw* their support behind Sea Monkey Confederation. Damned uppity Dolphins!

    • Dustin Collins says:

      No one knows what the Dolphins end game is but stories like this should just go to show that humanity should be teaming up with our primate brothers and sisters. Before the Dolphins accomplish there goals.